Thanks to all who cared...

Sorry for the late updates.

Was recently buzying with loads of OTs. Weekend burned coz of OTs too. Haha!!!

Anyway,

Today...

OT as usual. But, while walking towards my engineer desk to put a drawing, i looked back at all the empty seats of my colleagues, and i chance upon a pinned up note.

I remember that, more then a month ago, Evelyn told me to walk over to read this note.

Coz, at that period of time when i'm down, when i don't even need to say a thing. My colleagues all knew something was wrong.

My never ending smiles, my cheerfulness and energy had all gone...

Thats when almost all my colleagues who're close, came approaching me one by one, day by day, asking me the same qns...

"Hey Derrick，你OK吗? 这几天你瘦了很多，会不会是工作还是压力的关系?"

I replied: 是吗?

Colleagues: 你这几天真的瘦的很夸张也很不健康吧，有运动吗?

I said: No. i'm fine, thanks.

I'd never wanted to be pity by anyone.
But its because they've been very persistant and kept asking me for more then a month. So, i broke it out to them.

They, showered me concern and asked me to join them for lunch, as i'm always seen eating alone most of the time, locking myself in my little world.

And today, after reading the pinned up note at Eve's Desk.

I remembered asking her to Type it out to me. Coz its not bad.

But to be frank, at that period of time, nothing seems to gets into my mind.

So i pretend to understand and showed greatfulness when she want me to read it.

But after reading it twice today. Words finally gets in.

*Listen, I know it's hard to believe people when they say "i know how you feel..."
But i actually know how you feel...

What i'm trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible.

And how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you.

It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join Or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your friends.

You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could have misunderstood.

And how in the hell, for that moment, you could think that you were happy?
And sometimes you even convince yourself that she'll see the light and show up at your door.
And after all that, however long "all that" may be. You'll go somewhere new.
And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again.
And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.
And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted will eventually begin to fade.*

Abstracted from the movie "The Holiday"

Thou its abstracted from a movie.

I find it very good. Especially after understanding it now.

Thanks again Evelyn. If you're reading this. ^_^

So i wondered, does any of you understands it too?

Really very greatful to having a bunch of caring colleagues.

Of coz not forgetting my Family and Friends out there. ^_^

人質在这一刻得到释放

张惠妹 - 人質
专辑：我要快乐


Type: Music Video. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Very Fast.



Type: KTV. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Fast.

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歌词: Lyrics

我和你啊存在一种危险关系
彼此挟持这另一部份的自己
本以为这完整了爱的定义
那就乖乖的守护着你
相爱变成猜忌怀疑的烂游戏
规则是要憋着呼吸越靠越近
但你的温柔是我唯一沉溺
你是爱我的就不怕有缝隙
在我心上用力的开一枪
让一切归零在这声巨响
如果爱是说什么都不能放
我不挣扎反正我也没差

人质在这一刻得到释放
相爱的纯粹落得如此下场
你满意吗我们都别说谎

=================================================

超級星光大道-楊宗緯 人質


Type: Taiwan Superstar Competition. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Fast.

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楊宗緯 is a very talented singer. The difference you'll hear between 张惠妹 and 楊宗緯

Is that, he sings with greater feel.

Enjoy~!

TOTALLY SHATTERED!!!

I'VE HAD ENOUGH...

MY HEART HAD BEEN SHATTERED COMPLETELY.

BEEN BREAKING DOWN AND BROKEN DOWN INTO PIECES WHICH WILL TAKE ME LIKE DON'T KNOW HOW LONG TO RECOVER.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKED UP, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHY I KEPT DOING THIS TO MYSELF.
WHATS WRONG WITH ME?

I'M GOING INSANE IF I KEPT THINKING ABOUT IT.

WHY AM I STILL SO STUBBORN.

WHAT AM I? A NO USE BLOODY HELL? A FREAKING LOUSY PERSON?

I REALLY NEVER KNOW HOW HARD IT COULD BE TO LET GO OF THE PAST. NEVER...

WHY AM I SO CONCERNED STILL? I COULD JUST LEAD MY OWN LIFE. OTHERS GOT THEIR FREEDOM. WHY MUST I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT IT.

BEEN ALWAYS ASKING MYSELF EVERYDAY ON WHAT I REALLY WANTED AND AM I REALLY HAPPY? IS SHE DOING FINE? IS SHE OK? IS SHE HAPPY? WILL SHE BE BULLIED? DOES SHE THINKS OF ME?

FOR FUCK I BOTHER SO MUCH?

I'M COMPLETELY BROKEN DOWN.

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR FROM ME?

HAPPY NOW?

Till now...

Does anyone ever wonder... What do you want in life?

Intoxication

Never knew that being drunk could make a person feel so great.

It can make a person feel very high,
It can make a person feel very lousy.
or
It can even make a person forgetting his/her trouble.

That's no wonder why, there are people out there, who loves to drink and get drunk.

Wish, i could get drunk again and feel heavy and tired to think of anything or even recalling the past.

But, all in all, it'll just last for a moment.
Once its over, we'll still have to move on.

What happened!!!

Well... basically, i went KBox with JR and his friends.

Its been long since i've last sang.


Me and JR.


JR and friends.

Well... After singing... both JR and i actually said, its kinda really bored, as in no much feel in singing and all agreed... So, we actually said perhaps we'll not be singing till after some time.

Well again... That happened to be on Wed night.

=================================================================================

On Thursday, after my OT i went to meet up with Ling, as we've since last met each other while i'm serving the country at Marina Bay 2yrs ago.

Hah!!!

She invited me to...


Our Singapore's National Museum


The under part of the DOME inside National Museum.

Soo... What's the big deal? why there? and how come at Night?

all because there's an event at the "Muse Bar"


An event from Louis Vuitton.
For peeps who don't know whats "ARENA". Its a Magazine.

Some celebrities turned up. Loads of pictures were taken here and there.

But well, i guess its from the Photographer. Haha~! guess she's gotta do what she's odd to do. Its her job, maybe for the mag or something else.

Anyway... Suprisingly, I was not the only one my friend asked to join her, Ling eventually asked Lydia aka Diya 陈迪雅 to join us too...


Diya and me.

To describe her... I'll say she's very friendly, down to earth person.

Supposingly, Ling and i took lots of photos, but it all turn out very bad.

For Example~!

The only best i could get, other then the close up above. was...


Ling, Diya & me

As mentioned... not so good right. But Ling very smart, she left her name card to the photographer and asked her to contact ling or send email to ling, of our photos. (A Semi-Pro Camera instead of our weak Cam Phone)

So, i guess, i can say that there might or might not be more photos to update!!! hurhur~!

After dinner, we went KBox. LoL~! (2x) Kbox 2days in a row.

But this time round... it all turn up to be very good. Not like the night before, when its kinda bored. Haha~!

Both Ling and Diya sang really well, and also not forgetting Carrie, who last joined us for less then an hour or so. She has a very powerful vocal. Thats no wonder why both Diya and Carrie got into the Women's final in Project Superstar II.(All the best in their carrer)

Happening!!!

Was very happening for the past 2 nights... LoL!

Will update soon!!!

Feelings that hit on me hard...

Was tyding up my new bookshelf yesterday.

While clearing away my old bookshelf, i found some handmade cards or cards bought by her to me...

Flipped open and read it.
And the next thing i know... my tears starts rolling down uncontrollably.

Remembered how good and playful we were before.
Those happy moments, those happy days when we did things happily together.

MP3 was on while i'm clearing my things...
Soon after reading those cards...
This song was played... 柯有伦 - 两败俱伤

It came hard on me, as i'm listening to the lyrics... As its almost similiar on parts of it.

As i remember how we promised one another about forever. I can't say its childish as it can really happen if things went on fine...

Many "i love you" said by me... 100, 10000 or even a million times are never enough...

In the end... She choose to let go... Totally let go.

A freedom which i didn't want.

Thats where i realise what's my greatest fear.

As it came hard on me... i finally realise that she's now matured.

People do change. I do have my mistakes too...

Love and trust can take years to build, but seconds to fall.

Now... i can only hide somewhere in my heart wishing her doing fine and being happy to know how well she's doing.

Perhaps, what she did was right...

Guess i've fallen back into the pit.
And i'm gonna start climbing out myself again.

As time goes... my wound will heal again...

=================================================

Here's the Music video of the song i'll like to share to all.
Hope you'll all like it. Even thou it seems quite mismatching to the lyrics?

=================================================

柯有伦 - 两败俱伤
词/曲:柯有伦
专辑: Welcome to my world



Type: Music Video. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Fast.

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歌词: Lyrics

(我)试着听见
试着看见
所谓的永远 永远
好象还差一点 一点

无法听见
无法看见
永远 永远
就让我说爱你
一百遍不够 还不够
让一切再从头
你放手 全放手
我不想要的自由

发现原来我也有脆弱的时候
发现原来你加我等于什么都没有
发现不知到底还要走多久
多久 多久
反正只是没爱过

=================================================

我很OK。。。

歌手：张震岳
歌曲：OK
词/曲:张震岳



Type: KTV Music Video. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

===========================
Lyrics

生命之中 有多少经历
还值得细细回忆
尤其是感情那些刻骨铭心的回忆
好多年 都不曾忘记
我们都在寻找真爱
花钱也不能买
但是你问我 什么是爱
它没有正确答案
只能凭感觉
在人海里 寻找所谓的爱
有人随便玩玩
有人拼了老命在玩
有人一辈子 没有伴
过著 东奔西跑的日子
来到不熟悉的城市特别容易孤寂
想著 挥之不去的问题
尤其面对自己总是没有头绪
感情 和个人的平衡点常常失去重心
放手上 风一吹就会掉下去
有时 却想放弃
摇摇欲坠其实最自私 是自己
我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很OK
顶多入夜之后早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
走一步算一步
寻寻觅觅当你遇到一个喜欢的人
却不想在一起
有时 只想一夜情而已
放了真感情却害怕自由会失去
世界上 只有两种人
男人和女人
每天上演同样的剧情
谁又爱上谁 谁又背叛谁 谁又伤了谁
乐此不疲的表演 好累
但是没有人能够 脱离 再翻离
谁可以跨越出去
结果因人而异
有的信守终生 有的继续等
有的干脆剃度
永远不再过问
这红尘滚滚 心中是否沸腾
还有多少时间 值得继续等
曲终人散 走在陌生的街上
剩我一个人 唱
我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很OK
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
爱情面貌我是不了解
却把自己搞的很狼狈
有一段时间我不OK
把灵魂混在黑暗里面
当然还是有一些小小的都不在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
张震岳 - OK
词/曲:张震岳
?专辑:OK

我可不想装的很可悲
好让人家来给我安慰
这一段时间我很OK
顶多如有时候早早睡
当然还是有一些小小的寂寞在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
爱情面貌我是不了
却把自己搞的很狼狈
有一段时间我不OK
把灵魂混在黑暗里面
当然还是有一些小小的都不在身边
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
寂寞很OK 一个人OK 习惯就OK
===========================

Longest Lyrics i ever seen...
If anyone seen an even longer one, please let me know. Thanks.

Life...

It's been years!!!

I can't imagine that this were to happen to me again.
The same symtoms and the pain...

I wasn't feeling well for the past few days.

Went to see a doc today, but was told to go hospital for a check up immediately.

He asked if i need an MC or an excuse for my work? I told him, no, as its just an hour more before i knock off from work.

The doc then told me to better go hospital to check up asap. Cos, if its really what we suspect and think it is, it can be fatal.

I was like, "Darn, not again... the same old word told to me by a doc few years back." At that time, my blood test results was shown positive but was told a slight one. So, i've to stay at the observation ward to check if i'll get better or worst.

Guess what happened after a few hrs? i've cheated when the doc asked me, "pain here? there? etc etc..." I said no and no... lol~!

Well... what to do? Last time i'm still immature ma... lol~!
But, maybe its because my mom was there, and i do not want to worry her. As i was admitted to the hospital around 3am in the morning, and she haven't had got enough sleep as i've got to be put on wheelchair and needed to be pushed around.

As for today. I'm sorry to myself, coz i didn't go.

It's not that i don't want to go. I'm facing a few problems here...
First of all, i do not want to worry my family.
Secondly, i wish that someone could be there caring for me, loving me, not pity.
Thirdly, i wish to be alone quietly and not letting people know what's going on...
Lastly, i'm not in good condition to move about, as it'll hurt.

All in all i'm in dilemma. Perhaps, i'm lost too.

I've even turned down going out with my friends. (If you're to read this, i'm sorry about the last min turning down ya...)
After work, i took a rest in the office till it gets better before i think, should i or should i not go hospital.

In the end, i went to watch movie with JR and Jul. Coz, its just a harmless movie.

Its...

Rush hour 3

After the whole show, i don't really feel the pain anymore unless i apply force on it la.(which i did try to know it) Amazing ya? LoL~! But i was being ticked off when i told them what happened to me. Coz they say it could be fatal if its real, so dun play play =.="

When i got home, the pain slowly comes back. Luckily the pain were not as intense as in the afternoon ones. or i'll KOed on my bed to subdue the pain already.

Came to think of it...
Before knowing her, i'm always sick.
After knowing her, i told myself to stay healthy, so i can really take care of her.

Indeed, i'm very healthy even till now...

Was very sad that its all over.
Perhaps, things happend for a reason.

Maybe thats why i should be glad that its over. So that, i won't be able to see the person i loved most, looking sad watching me fall ill, or even troubled her to look after me.

It's really a miracle.

Thanks to the almight one above, that i've been very healthy after since knowing her and really thank her to have given me many many sweet memories. Its the most i could ask for now.

Came to think of this... We can't forsee the future. I really wish to stay healthy as i've got lots of things yet done. I may still got lots of chances too...

Perhaps, after i wake up later, and if the pain still persist on or got worst. I'll drop by to the hosp ba...
As its just suspecting only, it may not be really that problem right?

Rainy Morning

Darn... woke up early morning and it's raining quite heavily...



Luckily its OT not normal working hrs.

Well... gotta wait till the rain got smaller or perhaps when the sun is out.

Oh and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

High~!

Just discovered...

Beer + Coffee = VERY HIGH

Just went chilling out with my colleague and friends @ Paulaner München.



After that, went to Coffee Bean in Suntec.

Damn... After awhile, beer + coffee kicks in.

Still on a high now, which made my head aches badly. Haha...

Gotta turn in early as i've got to go back to work tomorrow morning.

YES!!! I MIGHT BE DRUNK NOW, BUT I'M NOT KIDDING!!!
OT ON PUBLIC HOLIDAY.

Sometimes it really sucks.

Self Satisfied~!

Due to the problems my CPU faced recently, it seems like its gonna crash anytime soon.

Without further or do, i decided to get a backup HDD ASAP.
Coz, nothing is much more important then the photos i have.
As no one can snatch away my memories. Unless if i fall into any mishap.
So, if it's down, i think thats it for me.

Hence, i just got myself a 2.5" Notebook HDD today.
And of cos, not forgetting the most popular demanded encasing from CoolerMaster.

So, its Black or White? Coz i find them both cool looking.

If its...
Black - It'll look dust free but scratches will be easily spotted.
White - It'll look dirty easily, but scratches can hardly be seen.
*nothing is 101% flawless

So, for a long run, i picked white, as dust can be cleared almost everytime. Lol!

Thanks to Vic, or i could have bought a much more expensive HDD yesterday.
As i actually had set my eyes on "FreeAgent Go" from Seagates.

He said : "How much was that HDD you said you want to buy?"
Me : "Ehh... $228"
Vic : "Siao ah, so expensive. Aiya, you go buy a notebook hdd + ext.casing la"
Me : "... okok"

Indeed, i got it almost $50 cheaper, hahaa...

Thank you Vic, for walking around SLS with me to look for the cheapest deal.

At least now, i've backup all my important stuff.

Methods to be happy

Watching videos is one method to cheer up a person or make a person happy.

Thou, there are loads of videos.

But i got a few kinds to share.
Saving the best for the last.

"Sound: Laughter"

Type: Clip. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

For the video above. It'll be better, without the "bling and blong"

"Visual: Funny"

Type: Animation. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

Quite a laugh, but the below ones are better.

"Visual: Funny"

Type: Animation. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

Ice Age 2 "Uncut NGs"

"Visual: Funny"

Type: Animation. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

Kids will definately love watching this.

"Visual: Funny"

Type: Variety Show. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Moderate.

Japanese Variety Show. Thanks to those funny ideas. This is a real good one. It shows how funny they can be.

For me, i'm a person who can be easily happy at times.

I wonder whats yours?

On how i rate the Loading speed.
Length of Clip + speed of bar loading = My own estimation.

To some, it may be fast, it may be slow.
But, perhaps, you can click and let it load. After awhile, tune back in to let it play.

So, seat back, relax and enjoy the Videos.

我的想法，我的决定。

虽然，在这段期间，我试过想忘记你。
因为，每当我想起你时，我的心，突然会有一阵刺痛的感觉。

事实上，如果想要忘记你的话，我是在欺骗自己。
因为，如果不在想你，这会比完全失去你更痛苦。

人有时候，越是想避免一件事情时，越会弄巧反作。

所以，我最终还是做出了一个决定。

至少，还有我们从前快乐的时光陪同与我。

这里有一首歌，想来介绍给大家听一听。
希望你们会喜欢。

歌手：郭静 Claire
歌曲：我不想忘记你


Type: Audio. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Very fast/Almost Immediate.



Type: Music Video. / Status: Good to Go. / Loading Speed: Slow.

======================

Lyrics:


我在向前走却像在退后
我在用想念狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

一个人不懂什么是拥有
两个人不懂怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
====================

断点

歌曲：断点
歌手：张敬轩
==================================
静静的陪你走了好远好远
连眼睛红了都没有发现
听着你说你现在的改变
看着我依然最爱你的笑脸
这条旧路依然没有改变
以往的每次路过都是晴天
想起我们有过的从前
泪水就一点一点开始蔓延
我转过我的脸不让你看见
深藏的暗涌已经越来越明显
过完了今天就不要再见面
我害怕每天醒来想你好几遍
我吻过你的脸
你双手曾在我的双肩
感觉有那么甜我那么依恋
每当我闭上眼
我总是可以看见失信的诺言全部都会实现
我吻过你的脸
你已经不在我的身边(虽然你不在我的身边)
我还是祝福你过的好一点
断开的感情线
我不要做断点
只想在睡前在听见你的蜜语甜言
==================================

想起以前，我听过这首歌，虽然旋律不错，但我没听清楚它的歌词。
现在才发现，我能感受的了这歌词的意思。

Knocked up

Went movie with JR, Jul, Nic and Ben.


Knocked up(M18)

This show is one hell of a lame but hilarious show.

I rate it 3.5/5 for the hilarious part and is story.

Its quite a nice chilling out show, but i don't quite recommend anyone to watch it alone, coz its not nice that you'll have no one to talk to about the funny part.



Self Status: emoing abt e past...

Hmm... How was it ?

Well, how do you all like it ?

As in the new outlook of my blog:
- SUCKS BIG TIME.
- Quite ok.
- Not bad.
- Good. But still got room for improvement.
- Very Good.

As for me, i still think there's room for more improvement.

Feel free to throw me suggesstions.

Thanks