Self-Indulging

After working so much OTs. I decided to put a pause to it.
Its been a few days i've not really been doing OTs.

But, it just struck me today while i'm in my office. YES!!! Its Sunday, not Monday.

It came hard on me, asking myself again and again.

Why am i doing so much, why am i still trying so hard to push myself, why am i making myself so tired each and everyday? What is it that i'm fearing of? What is it that i really want? Why?

Been asking myself lots of Why and What, If and How.

I know i've blogged about it a few days ago. But this question just slap back on me, asking me,

"Are you sure you knew the answers to your questions already?"

I was like... Err... What?

But one thing for sure that i knew. I knew why this question slap back on me.

I was about to meet a friend for a movie today. But, knowing that my friend had been very buzy for weeks and was very tired, i slam a question to my friend.

Thats when after i send this text over, i realised i slapped myself.

"If you're tired, then rest la. Don't need to push yourself so much. Sometimes you must also ask yourself. Why do you push yourself so much? Just slow down your pace, take some time off to look around you and see whats missing. "

Only then, i realised my answers to my questions before, were not strong enough.

Hence, i stopped my work. Called up John and ask him to meet up for a dinner and pass him his overdue birthday gift before we call it a day.

At times, i do feel very lost. Its just like, you know the answer to what you're doing, but its that, we fear that it's not the right answer, and that also, you just need more evidence to strengthen it. Or perhaps, what if it's really wrong, How?

Well, if i were to be asked again, I could only answer, i'm not really sure, but perhaps i just need to carry on in order to find out the outcome.

So, have you all ever wonder why?
Whats your story and how do you want it to be?
Ask yourself this, and give yourself some time off to relax and look around. See if you're missing anything?